Image credit: Lightstock/Katy
When it comes to thinking ahead and the subject of camps and residential holidays with children and young people, Baden-Powell’s 116-year-old motto for the Scouts, ‘be prepared’ springs to mind. When asked, ‘prepared for what?’ his response was, ‘why, for any old thing.’
You can’t be prepared for absolutely anything. However, if we consider the learning from our previous experiences, we can be better prepared for what is likely to happen.
Thirtyone:eight has been providing vital support through our safeguarding helpline to camp and residential leaders who are concerned for the safety and wellbeing of their children and young people. In 2022 we received 180 requests for advice from camps and residentials. In this blog post, we want to highlight two key themes that have emerged from the calls that we have taken: self-harm and suicidal feelings, with the aim of helping you to ‘Be prepared.’
Self-harm
Camps and residentials are an environment where young people feel able to disclose an issue of self-harm. This may be in a prayer ministry time, to a friend who reports it, or to a trusted leader who they feel they can talk to. Self-harm may happen for several reasons. It's thought that nearly a quarter of 14 year old’s have self-harmed, but the actual figure could be much higher.
Young people harm themselves for all sorts of reasons but the need to self-harm usually comes from strong emotions that have become difficult to manage. Young people who self-harm give different reasons for why they do it. Self-harming behaviour is often associated with feelings of anger.
Some young people who self-harm say that they feel desperate about a problem, and they don’t know what to do or who to turn to. Self-harm makes them feel more in control. For some young people who are experiencing unbearable feelings of shame, self-harm is a way of punishing themselves.
Young people who have experienced trauma or abuse cope with this by dissociation. They cut themselves off mentally from their experiences and become emotionally numb. For these young people, inflicting pain on themselves is a way of making themselves feel more connected and alive.
Responding to self-harm on camps and residentials
When encountering a disclosure of self-harm from a young person, we recommend you:
- listen
- observe
- support
- refer
Listen
Giving time to allow a young person to talk is important. Reflective listening is the practice where you repeat back what they say to gain a better understanding and to help you retain the statement.
For example:
Young Person: ‘I’ve been self-harming.’
Leader: ‘You’ve been self-harming. Can you tell me about it?’
Observe
If your event is in the summer, is the young person wearing clothing that doesn’t fit with the season? Self-harm can also have taken place in the past and marks will have healed, so keep an eye out for scars. Note any incidental observation of physical injuries and ensure that any medical treatment required is sought as soon as possible.
As a matter of safety, you should consider whether they have brought anything such as a knife or other implement with them to self-harm. This is possible if their self-harm appears to be current. Removing tools for harm is not always the appropriate course of action, and may cause further harm.
Support
If you are one of the young person’s leaders, reassure them that you will support them.
Refer
In all cases the matter should be referred to the Safeguarding Lead who will determine with you the best course of action, including whether the parents/carers should be informed. If the worker receiving the disclosure isn’t from the young person’s youth group, the Safeguarding Lead of the camp can pass on the information to the key contact for the group on camp.
Suicidal feelings
Another emerging theme from camps and residentials is the subject of suicide ideation in young people. As with self-harm, there can be several different reasons why a young person might have suicidal feelings or be thinking about suicide – depression, anxiety, feeling trapped in some way, isolation, or a traumatic event. Young Minds highlights the following as warning signs that a person may be having these thoughts:
- always talking or thinking about death
- deep depression and sadness
- losing interest in daily life
- having increasing trouble sleeping and eating
- feeling helpless or worthless
- self-harming
- feeling angry and that things can't change.
Responding to a disclosure of suicidal feelings can feel overwhelming but it’s important not to panic or look shocked. What’s reassuring is the fact the young person is talking about it.
Tips for responding well
- Stay calm – a relaxed response helps a young person feel secure and know that they’ve done the right thing in speaking to you.
- Listen and make space to allow the young person speaking to you to open up at their own pace. Be clear in your language so you know whether you need to make a referral. Use language such as "suicide" or "ending your life". This will help the young person feel you have understood and heard them.
- Remember that while it is a confidential conversation, if they are talking about putting themselves at risk of harm, you may need to pass on the concern. Be open and honest about this where appropriate.
- Ask them what support they may already be receiving – it will be important to note this when passing the concern on. If they’re not at immediate risk of harm, you can allow them to continue with activities while you refer the concern to your Safeguarding Lead. As well as speaking to you again, they may benefit from using an online service such as HOPELINE UK at papyrus-uk.org or The Mix.
- Refer. In all cases the matter should be referred to the Safeguarding Lead who will determine with you the best course of action, including whether the parents/carers should be informed.
Bruised reeds and smouldering wicks
When we think about these two emerging themes, self-harm and suicide feelings, they’re presented to us by young people who may be at their lowest ebb, struggling, confused and feeling hopeless. God’s promise in Isaiah 42:3 was fulfilled in the ministry of Jesus when he lifted up those who felt rejected, marginalised and just not good enough.
They may feel bruised or like their light is about to go out, yet you can be a channel for healing and restoration when you respond well. Remember, it’s not all on you, nor is it in your capability to solve a young person’s problem in one conversation or just by yourself. As you face these emerging themes and other issues disclosed by young people on a camp or residential, remember that there are processes in place that enable a young person to get the best support possible.
For a listening ear and sound advice, call our safeguarding helpline on 0303 003 1111 (option 2).
Sources:
Be Prepared: The origin story behind the Scout motto (scoutingmagazine.org)
Self-harm statistics | Head Strong (beheadstrong.uk)
Practice Guide: Self-harm, Thirtyone:eight
What are suicidal feelings? | Mind
Suicidal Feelings | Help And Advice For Young People | YoungMinds