What is trauma?

Imagine walking into a room, and you find yourself in the presence of a lion. 

Your brain will immediately react to the danger it perceives and do its best to keep you alive, not safe. There is a difference between survival and safety. Safety means you’re okay and unlikely to encounter emotional wounding. Survival means you are alive. On seeing the lion your brain will go through a list of potential survival strategies to keep you from becoming lion-lunch.  

• Fight, though you might reject that as you’re unlikely to win.
• Flight…RUN!
• Freeze, like a rabbit hoping staying still means the lion won’t notice you.  
• Fawn, "Hi nice lion, we can be friends. Please don’t eat me." 

Gabor Maté's belief that "trauma isn't the event that inflicted the wound, but the wound you sustained as a result" is a good place to anchor our minds. Lion encounters are just that—encounters. Our primal instinct is to stay alive. What’s left behind as a result, the wound, is trauma. Our perception of this event—whether we felt like we were about to die, or that we were in danger or threatened—is the part that either creates a new wound or, more commonly, scratches at a part of our psychological self that is already sore. It is what we have emotionally been left holding. Most cannot see it, but we, the traumatised, can feel it.

What is Trauma?

Trauma is the emotional, psychological, and physical response to deeply distressing or disturbing events. It occurs when a person experiences or witnesses an event that overwhelms their ability to cope, making them feel threatened, helpless, or out of control. Trauma is typically classified into three main types based on the nature, duration, and complexity of the traumatic experience: 

Acute Trauma results from a single, specific, and intense incident. It usually involves an immediate threat to our physical or emotional safety and can cause an intense stress response, e.g., a car accident. With appropriate support, we generally process the short-term shock, fear, and distress arising from these incidents. However, lingering effects like post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) may arise. Treatments such as EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing) and cognitive-behavioural therapy have proven effective in the processing of single-incident acute trauma. 

Chronic and Complex Trauma results from prolonged or repeated exposure to distressing events, often involving significant relationships. The long-term nature of chronic trauma—such as childhood abuse or ongoing neglect—can have serious effects on mental, emotional, and physical health. It can lead to lasting changes in how we view ourselves and the world, contributing to anxiety, depression, or PTSD. Prolonged exposure to stress hormones may also harm physical health, with trauma often stored in the body. Complex Trauma erodes our sense of self, making it harder to trust others or regulate emotions, leaving us feeling lost and disconnected. It diminishes our self-esteem and sense of identity.

The Impact of Trauma

When trauma occurs at critical developmental stages, it can alter brain structure, influence behavioural patterns, and shape a child's worldview in ways that may impact their life well into adulthood.  

Children exposed to trauma may have difficulty regulating their emotions, which can lead to intense mood swings, outbursts, or prolonged sadness or fear. They may develop maladaptive behaviours to cope with their trauma, such as aggression, defiance, or withdrawal. This can also include avoidance of situations or people that remind them of the traumatic event. Due to heightened emotional reactivity, children who have experienced trauma are often more sensitive to stress and may have trouble calming down when upset. 

Trauma, especially relational trauma involving primary caregivers (e.g. abuse, neglect, or abandonment), can disrupt a child’s ability to form secure attachments. They may struggle with trust, have difficulty forming close bonds, or develop an anxious, avoidant, or disorganised attachment style. Children with attachment disruptions may either cling to others out of fear of abandonment or avoid relationships to prevent future hurt. This impacts their social development and ability to form healthy relationships later in life, as they rarely experience a consistent and reliable safe haven. 

Trauma can profoundly impact how we feel about ourselves, shaping how we interpret the world. It skews our perceptions in ways that can make ordinary experiences feel more challenging or threatening. We become alert to danger because we have lived through the experience. We fear encountering it again, so we look for it everywhere and prepare to fight, run, freeze, or fawn. We build high walls to keep out this danger and protect the fragile inner self. These walls keep people out, leaving us feeling alone and unable to trust. We then blame ourselves for having built these walls that have become our prison. This prison is filled with feelings of shame, guilt, and inadequacy. We feel too broken and unworthy to be seen or connect with others. We feel helpless and powerless to escape this prison and we detach the pipes that allow emotions from the world in, limiting our ability to feel. But, this also stems the flow of joy and connection. We lose our ability to know where we are in the world and what’s going on around us, trying to hold on to the fragments of our fractured self—all the while protecting the wounds that only we can feel. The rest of the outside world, who live beyond our mind, can’t see it, don’t get it, and are no longer accessible.  

How could church communities help?

Accept that people have protective walls for a reason. Be alongside them, and resist trying to climb over the walls, which could be too frightening for the person within them, causing them to withdraw. Working trauma-informed means patiently and gently responding to the signs of trauma. Like Job, we might not understand why or how this happened, but we can stay with someone until they are ready to reveal more. 

Safety is crucial for trauma survivors. Churches can create safety by ensuring both physical (well-lit, welcoming spaces) and emotional safety (a culture of respect and confidentiality). Consider providing clear guidelines and consistent routines, which can help people who have experienced trauma feel more secure and reduce anxiety. Avoid language that could unintentionally shame or blame people for struggling with mental health or trauma-related issues. Instead, focus on affirming messages of grace, healing, and acceptance. 

Emphasise compassion and listening over "fixing" someone’s pain or trauma. Many people simply need to feel heard and understood. Avoid giving advice that could minimise trauma (e.g., "Just have faith" or "pray more, and it will go away"). Instead, validate people’s experiences and the challenges they face. Be open to discussing mental health and trauma topics in sermons and teachings, reducing stigma and encouraging people to seek help from suitably qualified psychological clinicians. 

Trauma can lead people to feel isolated or disconnected, alone in the room with the memory of the lion. The greatest power available to Christians comes from Jesus: “Love thy neighbour.” Show kindness with patience, offer empathy by giving the benefit of the doubt, forgive and offer another chance, and serve through warm welcomes and gentle inquiry. "Good to see you today. How are you?" And don’t forget to stick around to hear their answer.