Children and domestic abuse

Children are not just witnesses to domestic abuse—they are victims too.

Seeing, hearing, or being affected by abuse at home can seriously impact their emotions, behaviour, relationships, and mental health, both now and in the future. Across the UK, the law now recognises children as victims when they are exposed to domestic abuse.

If you are concerned that a child is living in a home where there is domestic abuse, or has a parent / carer in an abusive relationship, talk to your Safeguarding Lead.

How domestic abuse affects children  

Emotional Impact: Children may feel anxious, scared, confused, or blame themselves. They might struggle with low self-esteem or the ongoing effects of trauma.  

Behavioural Changes: Some children misbehave, while others withdraw. School problems or unusual behaviour for their age are common.  

Relationship Struggles: Abuse at home can affect how children understand and form relationships, sometimes making unhealthy patterns seem normal.  

Direct Harm: Children in abusive homes are also at higher risk of being abused or neglected themselves.  

How to support children  

Acknowledge their experience: Let children know their feelings matter and that the abuse is not their fault.  

Encourage speaking up: Reassure children that talking to a trusted adult or calling Childline is a brave and positive step.  

Listen and respond with care: Children may not always speak directly about abuse. Pay attention, take them seriously, and respond gently. 

Work together: Schools, social workers, police, health professionals and those in faith and community groups should share information and support plans.  

Be trauma-aware: Focus on building trust, emotional safety, and giving children a sense of control.  

Respect diversity: Be mindful of each child’s cultural and social background.  

Involve them in safety planning: When appropriate, include children in decisions about their safety to help them feel more secure. It’s helpful to tell children to never get in the middle of adults who are arguing.