Disclosure of abuse

When a person tells you directly about their experience of abuse, or comes to you for help, this is called making a disclosure.  

The initial response to a disclosure of abuse can have a lasting impact. When a person has built up the courage to make a disclosure, or circumstances mean that this is what has happened, they need to be reassured and taken seriously. The person they share their concerns with may be the only person that they feel safe to speak to, and it may be the only time they ever tell someone. 

A person may not disclose all of the information at once. If they give further information, the same process should be followed. An important skill for responding well that all workers should develop is active listening – when you convey to someone with your body language, eye contact and lack of distraction that you are present for them and you reflect back to them what they have said so they know you have heard and can check you’ve understood. 

Responding to a disclosure of abuse:

• Try to keep calm. 
• Listen carefully to what the person says without interrupting. 
• Allow time and space for the person to talk. 
• Be attentive and look at them whilst they are speaking. 
• Show acceptance and indicate that you believe what they are saying even if it seems unlikely or too awful to be true. 
• Try not to ask too many questions, but do clarify what has been said to make sure you have understood correctly. 
• Reassure the person that they are not to blame for what has happened to them and that they have done the right thing in telling someone. 
• Tell them that the information they share will be taken seriously. 
• Do not ask them why they have not told someone before. 
• Do not promise to keep what they have shared a secret but explain you may have to share it with others on a ‘need to know’ basis only. 
• Avoid any physical reassurance or comfort as much as possible, if you do, always ask their consent first e.g. a hug, or an arm around the shoulder. 
• Use language that is age appropriate. 
• Do not tell them not to tell anyone else. 
• Explain what you intend to do next and don’t delay in taking action.
• Ask them what they would like to happen next. This prevents us making incorrect assumptions and keeps the person at the centre of the concern. Even if what they want to happen isn’t possible (for example if a child doesn’t want to report abuse), knowing this helps us frame how we respond.